(Xposted from my blog http://dumok.wordpress.com)
You know this year has been one where I’ve had to seriously examine the way I do things. Don’t get me wrong, that’s GOOD, it’s just rather inconvenient when you find yourself hearing the words “You’re a much better writer than you are an artist” It’s just that I really LOVE drawing my own stories, It’s alot easier for me personally to draw my comics than actually sit down and write a script and trust that which ever artist I find, can
a) do a good job with it, and
b) be able to flow with my vision
c) be willing to do the kind of work I want with it. (Meaning adult or not adult)
I am not trying to say that there isn’t anyone “good enough” to illustrate my stories, there are TONS of great artists out there. but to be honest, I LOVE, I mean LOVE, being able to do the story as I see it in my head.
I am, well, quite insecure about what I do. It’s annoying, It’s a pain in the ass, and it’s holding me back.
That being said, I have come to a few decisions:
1) I am going to simplify my artwork. that means I am going to work with a more “Cartoon-ish” style which will allow me to play with things more. As much as I really want to avoid doing “Manga” type art, I am going to try and see if I can use that style.
2) As much as I hate extra work for myself, I am going to sit my ass down and Script my work. That means that I have to actually get used to the idea of working from a script with the possibility of choosing someone to try and follow my “Artistic vision.
That means, Shadow-Root and Don Brujo will have to start over again and I will have to do things the right way.
3) As much as I am tempted to completely give up illustration or continue with a “Torpedoes be damned” attitude, I am going to try to walk that fine line.
The advice I got last night was brutal, it was honest and it really hurt my pride. but it was the truth, I might NOT get any better as an artist.
Too much time has passed for me, and I wasted my youth on stupid asinine SHIT that ruined what ever chances I had to make it professionally. It was my own damned fault. As much as I would Really like to blame certain people who are no longer in my life, I honestly can’t; I listened to their bad advice. I chose to listen to their stupidity and I went to try and do something that I was in no way shape or form equipped to do, and as a result I blew my shot.
The thing is, I really LOVE doing what I am doing.
I just don’t have what it takes to get into companies like Marvel or DC, that is unless I chose to specialize. Or I can continue to move out on my own and work with Pronto comics and continue to spin my wheels. I mean, do I really want to try and work for DC or the other big companies?
The answer to that, is simple. Not any more.
I want to do my own work, control my own content, control the rights to my own stories. but If I am going to get anywhere either on my own or with pronto, I need to adapt, AGAIN.
I hate it…
I FUCKING HATE IT!
but I need to do it.
Adapt or Die…
And I ain’t got time to die, yet.
dumok
